Why I Love Being Single
For the first time in a pretty long time, I’m head over heels in love with being single. Nope, this seat isn’t taken.
I’ve been a lone ranger for a solid while now, with passionate, romantic flings here and there, but nothing really lasting more than a few months. I’ve had a semi-solitary confinement deal going on downstairs, as I’m just not that rapt with meaningless sex. This has led to long droughts where I’ve been close to Googling “Can a vagina close over?” Even my best friend does an impression of my lady parts where she tightens her mouth and gasps various things about a dry Sahara desert in a raspy voice.
It’s not like I couldn’t get any lovin’ if I wanted to. Let’s be honest: anyone with a female crevice could make a drunk-enough fellow take her home. When I’m travelling, being in a relationship rarely crosses my mind. You meet so many people and everything is new and exciting; the last thing I’d feel like doing is skipping a hike with fellow explorers to find WiFi and Skype bae. It’s when you’re back home or settled somewhere and routine kicks in – work or uni – and suddenly there’s a lot of time for you to imagine having a partner to make it more bearable. Everyone’s had those days. It’s raining and kind of cold, you get home from a long shift, your eyes are heavy and your legs are sore and you just want to someone to cuddle you, play with your nipples, watch a movie, get Deliveroo and snooze. Sure, there are friends who can fulfill this position, but let’s be real: it’s just not the same and the nipple part could get weird.
But what I have noticed all this time being on my own is that I have learned to enjoy my own company. I know what I want to create in my life, where I want to live, what kind of people I want around. I’ve discovered what makes me anxious and what makes me calm. I can fill up entire days’ worth of activities, getting creative, listening to my own tunes, dancing to my very own beat and not once feeling lonely.
From past experiences with the male species and numerous wine-filled chats with people about their relationships, I am certain I know what values and traits I want in a partner, and what I do not. I guess I have been single for a while because I refuse to settle for anyone less than the right person for me, and I won’t just stick in a relationship because I don’t want to be by myself.
I celebrate being alone. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I can go on a van adventure with a long-haired, scruffy surfer and we can exchange salty kisses between waves and I don’t have to hang around him long enough to resent the superficial conversations about VB and incoming swell. I can go see a gig and lock eyes with the lead guitarist and party with the band after, drinking Jack Daniels and holding hands until the sun comes up. I can have nights upon nights of sleeping undisturbed and waking up early and refreshed to catch a bright orange sunrise or crawl into bed at 6pm with a cup of tea and read until my eyelids gently shut.
I guess I’m not the best person to give relationship advice due to never having had a long-term one, but I will make a general assumption that people need to listen to their heart more. Get out of there if the one you’ve teamed up with doesn’t make you want to wrap your legs around them and never let them go until they die. Allow yourself to be alone, learn about you and, when the timing is right, that special someone will come along and you will know, because you know yourself.
Cover by Josh Felise, inset supplied by author