London: Oxford Street
Get There: Take the underground to Oxford Circus
Price: Free – as long as you don’t set foot inside Topshop
There are some things in life that seem like a great idea until they are actually attempted: riding a motorbike in Vietnam while drunk, watching the movie LOL starring Miley Cyrus and shopping on Oxford Street in London. While still under the spell of enchantment this city has cast over you, it might seem like a good idea to visit the iconic Oxford Street and shop till you drop in famous stores such as Topshop, H&M or Zara. That is until the moment you actually set foot on Oxford Street and realise it is the single worst decision you have ever made. The crowds are constant, the queues at the tills are worse than the shower lines at Splendour and the relentless music pumping through the speakers will leave you as mindless as a zombie. In addition, you will be unable to walk away without buying something – anything – to justify the pain of having to listen to a turbo-mixed Arianna Grande on repeat, courtesy of the in-store DJ. If you must brave this gauntlet of high-street fashion, then try to stay away during peak hour when the entire city descends for a post-work shop, or on weekends and public holidays. If all else fails, take refuge in the bowels of Topshop; they have bathrooms, a café, tattoo studio, hairdresser, and free Wi-Fi – the perfect reprise for the poor shopped-out hobo.