The Revolting Hobo

The Revolting Hobo

Tired of the same old adventure into the un-great known, meandering through civilised countries where economic stability and libertarian rights are striven for, if not achieved? Craving a “real” adventure, to countries and places still burning from the last riot where four children were maced in the face and a man’s skull crushed by an armored military vehicle? Well, now’s your chance. Pack your home-made gas masks, swallow your complacency and download a compilation of GG Allin’s best fights for the flight over, because Global Hobo is offering one lucky reader the opportunity to win an all expenses unpaid trip to THE REVOLUTION (dates and places are subject to change).

First off, and a true hotspot for revolutionary travelers, it’s the infamous Tahrir ‘Martyr’ Square. Located in Downtown Cairo, the 1km2 traffic island has been home to more revolutions than there are Che Guevara bumper stickers, with the most recent spanning from 2011 to 2013. During the revolt, millions of Egyptian protestors – including Muslims, liberals, anti-capitalists, nationalists and feminists – trekked down to the square, said, “Fuck you,” and ousted a despotic cunt named Muburak with the help of the military, who then started killing protestors, and the Muslim Brotherhood, who elected their main man Mohamed Morsi or “The Prophet” as president. The guy basically gave himself omnipotent power and fucked up all non-Muslims, who eventually overthrew him, instating a leader who so far has done nothing – except fill the square with thousands of disgruntled Muslim Brotherhood. Yes, in this tumultuous two years, while most of us encouraged each other to fight that illiberal seatbelt fine and then submitted to go on spur, over 900 protestors were killed by authorities who were simply trying to show them the meaning of democracy.

Here in Australia, the home of the free, we already understand “democracy”, so until our government reaches a level of corruption and arrogance so sordid that it winks at inequality, shackles citizens’ rights through fast-tracked laws and centralises all media institutions, the constant eruption of pro-libertarian (whatever that means) revolutions in Tahrir Square might be just for you.

…stay tuned for more slam-dancing revolution getaways that are sure to release your inner anguish.

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