Quebec City: Ice Hotel – Hotel De Glace
Address: 9530 Rue de la Faune, Quebec City, QC G1G 4G4, Canada
Hotel de Glace – translated to “Hotel of Ice” – is exactly that. Open since 2001, it is built entirely of ice. Consequently, it’s only open three months of the year, usually from January – April. If you’re lucky enough to be travelling during this time, you should definitely make a visit. Don’t be fooled by the advertisements (shit talking) – getting there is easy. Disregard the “private transportation” or “shuttle service” that the brochures make out is the only possible means of arrival: they’re as unnecessary as that Brazilian wax I got in preparation for Schoolies. For just $3 the local bus gets you from downtown Quebec to a mere street away from the Hotel de Glace in around 15 minutes. Once there, an adult entry fee will set you back $17.50, with complimentary tours running every hour. There are a total of 44 rooms and themed suites to explore. In addition, there’s a bar, chapel, and even an outdoor spa and sauna! Naturally, my first stop was the bar. I chose a cocktail off the extensive beverage list, and got it served to me in a hand crafted ice cup. How very “Chuck Bass” of myself – served on ice, literally. But let’s not kid ourselves – I’m a hobo. In reality, this was my kind of bar because drinking slowly is not encouraged. The cup will melt.
If the tour wasn’t enough for you, it’s possible to stay the night, for a small fortune. $400 could get you return flights to Bali or 160 litres of Fruity Lexia. Conversely, $400 per person could get you one night’s accommodation including dinner, a sparkling ice cider cocktail (which is no where near enough alcohol to pass out, meaning that you’d be conscious while your toes succumb to frostbite) and a Nordic sleeping bag. This way you can snuggle into your complimentary sleeping bag after everyone who has previously stayed before you has. And due the freezing temperatures inside the rooms, know that they have most likely all practiced Hypothermia survival tip 101 in your very same bag – “try transferring your body’s heat to the victim: remove your clothes and lie naked against the naked victim, covering both of you with whatever is available” (Nordic sleeping bag).
Note: If your man is worried about his size, then don’t kill his masculinity faster than the cold will freeze you both. Everyone knows size does matter.
Alternatively, you can chose to have your special day in the Hotel De Glace’s Chapel. Packages start just below $2,500 and ensure nearly everyone will have cold feet. It’s described as one of the “Top 10 dream wedding locations”. According to whom? The White Witch who froze Narnia in the hundred-year winter? I think so. The setting is intimate and stunning, with benches either side decorated with genuine fox furs. But this said, I’d rather get married in Loganlee. However, if you’re a homo and are worried the Australian Federal Law may not recognise same-sex marriage any time soon, this could be the place for you! The Hotel De Glace had its first same-sex wedding in February 2005, after same sex marriages became legal in Quebec the year prior.