Gap Fat

Gap Fat

If you returned home from a gap year after school and somehow managed to stay slim, I would like to say a big fucking congrats. You beat the rest of us discipline-lacking, emotional, budget-eating, carb-craving, beer-chugging travellers. I don’t know how the hell you managed it; but then again, most people don’t know how the hell I managed to come home 15 kilos heavier. Well, Let me lay it out for you skinny bitches.There are three different types of Gap Fats:

  • Emotional Gap Fat: Occurs when gappies feel homesick and start eating their feelings.
  • Fuck It” Gap Fat: Drinking the night (and day) away, eating anything and everything and using elevators instead of stairs.
  • Stingy Gap Fat: Most of you know whom I’m referring to – those travellers who stick strictly to their budgets and remind you frequently about that 30 baht you still owe them. These stingy gappies choose only the cheapest of foods. Carbs and processed goods: yum. Who would pay for a salad when you can get a big, greasy pizza for the same price and be full for most of the day?
So… these food choices become a routine and before you know it your jeans, (no matter how much you suck in) refuse to do up and you find you have this new flesh bundled in places you never thought you had. By then it’s too late to take back those daily Oreo bus snacks and you find yourself saying, “Fuck it. I’m fat anyway!” and going for a second serve.I was embarrassingly all three of these Gap Fats mixed together. And I’ve come to terms with the fact that my body is never going to be as good as it was in high school. My impressive box gap filled in, I learned that a muffin top does exist on people other than Kim and bingo arms aren’t just for old ladies.Yeah it got depressing wearing track pants clubbing, having zero self-confidence with guys and my friends using my belly as a pillow on bus trips. But you know what? I have never felt freer or been happier. I was fat and I was proud. I wouldn’t change anything about my trip if I did it again. Well – maybe, just maybe, refrain from that third packet of Oreos every now and then.
gap fat

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