Cliff-Top Feast on the Amalfi Coast
Address: Via Tagliata, 22, 84017 Positano, Italy.
I should start this review by letting the most stingy of you hobos know that this feast at La Tagliata is going to set you back 25 euros. Not so bad, however, when you consider these two things: your stomach will be packed to the rafters for the next 24 hours AND you are supplied with endless bottles of home-made wine and Limóncello.
You’ve probably seen one of those pictures of Positano (yeah, that one at the top of the article) if you liked a Facebook page titled something like Places to Visit B4 u Die! Well, this restaurant gives a picture-perfect view of the coastline! “Omg!” you are thinking, “Sooo have to go there to get a piccy and upload it to ‘Places to Visit B4 u Die!’ on FB!” Well yeah, you can get a piccy AND have this fucking delicious feast – two birds one stone, bitches!
Now, Positano is not a very hobo-friendly destination; plainly said, the hotels are a rip-off. Visit Positano and the restaurant on a day trip or just stay one night. The nearby town of Amalfi is much more suitable for penniless peeps, so give that a geeze.
To reach the cliff-top feast, you have to make a booking in advance. Do that here. The owners will contact you to arrange transport from the town of Positano and up the mountain to the restaurant itself, which is perched between the narrow road and the cliff edge. They speak very little English, so make sure you are very clear about pick up time and location to avoid being left stranded in paradise.
Thrill-seekers get excited. The ride up the mountain will scare the shit out of you. The road is extremely windy, full of locals on their vespas, and I actually wouldn’t be surprised if the driver just lays a brick on the accelerator.
Once you arrive, you will be greeted by lovely couple (insert names here… I don’t remember; lovely nonetheless) who will take you inside and usher you to your cliffside dining table. The view is actually breathtaking (cringe word). Lovely couple prepare everything from scratch themselves, so you may have to wait a while, but it is so, so worth it. You can check out the garden, where they farm all of their foods, if you pop out to the loo, and apparently further down the cliff (you can’t go down there, soz) is another farm where they kill all the animals that they feed you.
You will be spoiled by an abundance of appetisers, a variety of pastas, a shit-tonne array of meats and, by this point, your gut will feel like it’s exploding, so deserts will have to be shoved down your oesophagus with a fork.
Don’t forget to take full advantage of the free-pour red wine that they place on the table when you arrive. Also, when the Limóncello comes out at the end, that’s your queue to pay. They are ever so polite, so won’t heckle you and will just assume you know that Limóncello means “pay me” in Italian.
Lastly, a friendly tip: you’re going to feel sick, but in a really good way. So plan the rest of your day around being completely still.