St. Anton: Mooserwirt
Address: Unterer Mooserweg 2, 6580 St Anton
If you’ve been to Oktoberfest you will already know the necessary moves and lyrics needed to fit in at this infamous beer house. You should appoint a few of your pals to turn up at 2pm for a table or risk a being crushed in the rowdy crowd later on. If you’ve got a local with you, send them to smooth talk people into letting you share a bench; if not, use your bulkiest bloke. The DJ is pushing 80, but his tunes never fail to delight, nor do his legendary balcony appearances. From what I saw, this is the place you’re most likely to pick up someone with all the attributes of a Made in Chelsea cast member – wealthy men/whores galore.
Do: Take your fur-trimmed Moncler jacket and stay on the deck
Don’t: Expect your snow board to make it down to the village in one piece
Warning: Turn up to this bar straight off the mountain and you will end up skiing with poles approx 30cm too long/short for you the next day. Come midnight, you’ll also risk serious injury and possible death on the run home.