A Eurotrip is a rite of passage for any discerning young hobo. For many, it will be the first parent-free holiday that isn’t school camp, aka the chance to get ridiculously loose on your birthday money under the guise of learning about Gaudian architecture.

At 18, you’ll probably backpack around the Disney trail of Europe on some embarrassingly ocker Contiki tour, eating hash cakes in Amsterdam, getting snaps holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa and putting on ≥5kg in Berlin beer and Roman pizza. Whatever – you’ll have a ball.

Years later you’ll return with a more intrepid mentality, trekking through the Scandinavian fjords, hitchiking across the east and showering less than is hygienically advisable. You might even join the zillion-or-so Aussies in the London rat race, moving into a shoebox and stripping naked in Hyde Park whenever the UV levels are above arctic.

Either way, you’ll still be poor; so whatever your trip, let us guide you.

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