Things Worth Your Attention: Week Ending 18/12/16
So I sat down to write this yesterday and was so peeved about fake news and Russian propaganda that I ended up writing this entire missive on the matter, which is probably worth your attention if you don’t like being hoodwinked by autocratic regimes.
It’s a big shame that at this point in history we have to argue about the veracity of information coming out of conflict zones while real humans are being massacred, providing another obstacle to eliciting sympathy from disengaged and disinterested solipsists enjoying their bacchanal existences in the privileged lands (that’s us).
This is why we do this, to encourage you to inform yourself and to remain engaged in a world that is seemingly falling to bits. It would be a real shame for future generations to look back on this epoque and ask, “But why didn’t anyone care?” And for your response to be,
Oh, you know, it was hot and there were trends, and I had my work Christmas party that weekend, and reality television, Pokemon Go, Tinder and dabbing…
or whatever it is that you people do these days.
The situation in Syria is utterly fucked.
It’s a big fuckstick and it’s only getting worse; government forces, pro government Shia militia, Hezbollah and their Russian allies are closing the noose on Aleppo, civilians are being executed in the streets, numerous ceasefires have failed, making evacuations impossible. I could go on and on, but you need to delve deeper into this yourself, but whatever you do just don’t trust this arsehole.
There is no war on Christmas.
Can you believe that these fart sniffers are still playing at this? Take a look around you, person living in the west, do you see a fucking attack on Ol’ Saint Nick/Jeebus waged by Muslims/leftards/PC morons? I don’t, I see an attack on us led by Christmas, fucking lights everywhere and the insipid insistence that we shop more because 2000-odd years ago some dame who was having an affair pulled off the most audacious cover up in the history of mankind. It wasn’t me honey, it was Yahweh.
That Peter Dutton went on talkback radio, took a call from a planted caller, made some more ridiculous and purposely inflammatory remarks, and then reclaimed the news cycle for another couple of days: an example of political dirty tricks at their most remarkable. I don’t know if I hate the bastards because they’re bastards, or because they’re so fucken good at it.
Trump’s tweets matter…
…and that’s not to take anything away from the very real and important Black Lives Matter movement, but fuck, their movement and everything else that activists in the United States have worked towards can be dismantled in secret because small-thumbed Trump has access to Twitter. Through being a petulant baby man, the tangerine anus can direct the news feed toward whichever inconsequential issue his current lack of temperament sees fit. Trump can distract the electorate away from his lack of action on the big election promises, while creating distractions that make minority lives miserable. Well, his Twitter feed and our addiction to scandal/his idiocy will be major contributors to facilitating this basic, yet highly effective, deceit.
Tony Abbott is still a cunt.
And he’s again licking Pauline Hanson’s dick to harness her hatred in an attempt to bolster the Liberal party far right in their relentless campaign to destabilise Malcolm Turnbull and reinstall the Mad Monk into the hot seat. This is what happens when your Prime Minister is a gutless wonder with a tenuous hold on power. Expect more of this in the years between the election cycle, a time when political parties squabble internally over just how comprehensively they can fuck us over as opposed to blatantly bullshitting for our support.
And kids, Santa Claus isn’t real.
He’s an invention designed to control your behaviour, kind of like Jesus is for adults. Merry Christmas.
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Ex-editor of Australia’s Surfing Life, current producer and host of 50 Fiestas, Barcelona resident and drinker of all the wine, every last drop of it.